I’m compulsive when it comes to correct grammar. Disagreement between subjects and verbs feels to me like fingernails on a blackboard. I ALWAYS use all of the letters on my phone when emailing, even when Tweeting! (I’m not bragging or complaining; I just want you to know how challenging it is for me to break my grammar rules in using the following “double negative!) Are you ready? Here it is:
How does this relate to you and your career development? When you think through your life experiences, the talents you have, your deepest held values, the themes that “haunt” you day and night, here’s my question:
WHAT ARE THE THINGS IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU “CAN’T NOT” DO?
In other words, what activities, involvements, thoughts, principles, etc. do you find yourself inexorably drawn toward, either in the way you do your work or how you “back fill” your time when not working? These CAN’T NOT’s keep showing up, even when you have difficulty putting them in words!
Over my years in career coaching and counseling, I have discovered the following fact: Even though a significant number of individuals never discover what they should be “when they grow up,” they are constantly trying to do it!
Allow me to share an example. I had a client whose job was to assemble complex systems on which to suspend large lighting and sound systems for entertainment venues. His work was something like putting together full scale Lego™ structures according to specific diagrams. It was important and intricate work. In session, I asked him to describe something he had done that caused him to feel proud, accomplished, something that he thought was “worth doing.” His response to me spoke volumes: “Does it have to be at work?” (Of course, it did not have to be at work, but at least some of it should be!). His answer: he shared a time when he worked with a friend on the design, selection of material, and construction of a customized kitchen system. His eyes lit up as he shared this adventure with me (not unlike the phenomenon of Flow, as developed by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi – great stuff, you should look it up!). Clearly, this gentleman’s CAN’T NOT should embody creativity, design, and the hands-on manufacture of unique “works of art” – like a custom kitchen! Here’s a fact for us all: if it doesn’t happen at work, it must happen somewhere!
I often use carefully selected assessments with individuals to aid them in identifying these themes, discovering that the best of these instruments seldom “inform” the individual of new personal information as much as they “affirm” for them of where their CAN’T NOT’s lie.
How about you? Can you articulate your CAN’T NOT’s? Are you practicing them? If not, everyone loses! Take action to make it happen.
One side note, some of your CAN’T NOT’s may be too important to do as a living, but still belong in your life…
Trust me…You CAN’T NOT do this!